MeyerBros

Since Eric kicked things off here nearly a year ago by pointing out some creative differences with a web deign firm, I thought it might be time to point out another example of web designer’s web sites gone badly wrong:

aPe Computers

I really don’t feel the need to say much. Just watch their space-elevator-world-shattering-apocalypse banner for a while and “Feel the Quality” while enjoying those fantastic rounded corners.

Iraqis must step up! I’ve been hearing this all over the place so I looked into it…

They’re right! Look at this guy:

He’s just sitting there!

“dumb” isn’t even an option on this poll. you’re going to have to choose something else. make do, i always say. if you can’t say something nice, say something really really nasty, as my grandfather always said (or could have). a penny saved is a penny saved, and that’s god’s honest truth for you.

What happened to your director? We know all about losing directors here at MMA, but we just got a new one. We also now have unofficial merch that I designed and am selling through CafePress… [this store has been taken down. sorry.]

If you love Stewardship Solutions, you’ll want to buy yours today.

love is like a magic penny.

it doesn’t exist.

oh, and i just wrote a new song to explain jealousy: jealousy is like a magic dagger with a +2d4 damage bonus.

in fact - everything is like a magic something if you say so.

what a dumb song.

how sweet is this?!?

(i thought you might need the exclamation points to give you a hint. the answer is pretty darned sweet. sweet enough to build a new design around, you’d almost think)

some more about reflections

for me it all started with today’s penny arcade comic. the french are eating our horses. it was funny. i laughed.

but it’s not funny. look at this: willie nelson tells us all about the horible practice.

no wait. this article tells us nothing about it. but it does end with this:

Nelson said he has owned several horses and has several buried on his ranches. “I do have a lot of respect for my horses, a lot. I don’t ride them as much as I used to and I think they appreciate it,” he joked.

Nelson recorded the songs On the Road Again and Mama Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys.

The House bill is HR 503.

just the pertinent details. you couldn’t flow like that if you tried.

So the other day, my friend was walking down the hall at good old Goshen High School and she overheard a conversation between a football player and his cute little girlfriend. It went like this…
Cute Little Girlfriend: EEW, was it gross?
Football Player: Yeah, my pad was all bloody.

And sadly, it was the most hysterical thing that had happened in a long time. Except for this joke.

What is the difference between a piano and a fish? You can’t tune a piano but you CAN tunafish!!

Blame this blog entry on Eric.

Items from my day:

1. Turn on the radio on the way home from Rapid: Violent Femmes’ “Blister in the Sun“. It’s a bad song. Don’t follow that link. But wow - did it ever take me back to high school. Yeah, those two years when I went to high school.

2. Same radio, same car, same drive: teaser snippet from some radio comedian whose name I didn’t catch. Roughly:

Now whatever you think of Bush, he really seems like a fun guy.

(At this point, I fear we’re headed for mushroom jokes, at best, and offensive politics, at worst. This is a generic ClearChannel music station, after all.)

… I mean, he does, he seems like a fun guy. Like the kind of guy who shows up at your barbecue, and you can always count on him to get the whiffle ball game going. He shows up, and you’re like, cool, yeah, that’s cool, everything’s good. Whiffle ball. Tony the whiffle ball guy.

But then somebody decides to put Whiffle ball Tony in charge of EVERYTHING. And you’re like, whaaat?! I mean, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. He’s kind of competitive. And pretty soon he’s breaking into the neighbor’s yard, challenging them to whiffle ball. I KNOW you want to play whiffle ball, and I’ll take you! Like that. Um, no, we didn’t say we wanted to play whiffle ball. And then he starts chucking hamburgers at them, and you’re like, hey, Tony, what’s up? And he says, Dude, they were just about to start chucking hamburgers at me!! Only then you find out, they never even HAD any hamburgers…

Ok, well, I found it funny.

3. We played a round of disc golf in Rapid while waiting for an estimate on the damage to our front bumper from some guy who had a little trouble parking at Safeway. Scored ten over par, my worst round yet on that course. It was windy, and I was getting used to a new driver. But a beautiful day anyway, and what better excuse to wander around in a park for a couple of hours?

jackson pollock.

that’s how he did it. i swear.

i wrote this little play for a holiday playwriting contest in indy. it’s cheerfully called “happy goddamn holidays” and follows their guidelines of being sarcastic and not warm-fuzzy. i also managed to condense what first copied into text edit as a twelve page script into under six pages (also a guideline of the contest) without cutting a single line from the play. ask me how i did it. go ahead. ask.

i did not, however, manage to pull it in under the requisite five character limit. i’m hoping they’ll take it in under my five actor interpretation of the rule. we’ll see…

there’s a new page up over at www.mnftiu.cc. i love this comic. sometimes i think i should offer to redesign his website for him…

rated R for language and strong thematic elements involving our government.

i just posted - over at eric.meyerbros.org - some clarifications.

i just thought i ought to clarify that quite often i dont mean what i say. here are some things i have said and some things i have not actually said and wont say but things that might at some point be said - and my clarifications regarding such said things. inspired in part by Chuck Mee and in part by Peter Handke but mainly by Michelle Milne, who doesn’t let me get away with these things.

i hope to keep building on them. so if you have any ideas you can write your own or post a comment here or there offering an adage to be clarified.

i would review this movie, because i did watch it, but the ninja beat me to it and said everything worth saying.

and then said some more things - but go check it out.

(hint: not a great movie)

it’s over.

what a mistake from Zidane - who still won the best player award.

on similar thoughts: i continue to wonder about players who argue with the ref. i’ve never seen the tactic work.

i think refs should carry around chocolate chip cookies and offer them to complaining players. “yes, no, of course you didn’t do it. no, i’m sure it was him - would you like a cookie? you look like you could use a cookie. no, we’re out of milk… are you sure? they’re good cookies….” etc.

This is a picture of Zizou asking the ref for a cookie, see. But the ref doesn’t have a cookie. He has a card. Sorry Zizou.

make the game much more amiable…

the latest game not to be released (or developed (or even thought of)) by word of mouse games.

it’s like tetris, but with snoods! what could be cooler?

i see this working one of two ways. either a) it’s impossible to complete a row because those silly snood shapes just don’t fit together, or b) each snood takes up exactly one ‘block’ of space and it’s nearly impossible not to complete rows.

either way, it’s the coolest game ever.

this is an expiriment in reviewing a book in the style of the book itself. don’t trust it. in fact, i wouldn’t bother reading it. it goes bad by the end of the first paragraph, and paragraph three is entirely innapropriate. some of the comments might be interesting though. you could just skip to them.

this isn’t right.

this is right. it’s the only way to do this, get it all over with at once. it’ll be great. self referential and everything, just like A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, except more so because it’s a review written in the style of the book. maybe even from the perspective of the author. no. yes. or as me writing as the author or the other way around. a self aware review mixed with vacation memoire about a memoir book. it’ll be the best thing i’ve ever written. it is the best thing i’ve ever written. you’re going to love it. you do love it. you hate it. i can tell you hate it. you’re never going to talk to me again. i’ll become depressed and and start drinking too much - random sex without condoms - AIDS - and then you’ll feel sorry. why don’t you like me anymore?

i really wasn’t that impressed with several things. AHWOSG, for one, and the eiffel tour for two. also versailles and AHWOSG again. the book just wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. i wasn’t sure it went anywhere. the eiffel tour and versailles certainly did not go anywhere. they were big.

i should probably also mention that i haven’t had much sex in a while (with or without condoms) and even masturbation has been lacking. and while i know i will be judged by all of you for saying that, it doesn’t really matter because i could be lying. i am lying. maybe i’m lying. if i am i apologise, but still think you deserve it.

the point is, the book didn’t do much for me. neither did the french revolution. french cheese on the other hand… and oh the fondue… etc.

orgasmic, you might say.

is this pornography? how will we know? can we define the destinction between art and porn? can dave eggers define it? bobby meyer-lee? who’s definition would we go by?

how about mental illness? who defines that? who has it? what should we do about it?

racism?

this is an apology for this post. i’m very sorry. i’m not sorry. blame dave.

how do people say these things?

“[God] is the chairman of this party.” (the story)
– Texas GOP leader Tina Benkiser, at state convention

Form that same article: “Lord, your words tell us there’s a sign that this nation is under a curse, when the alien who lives among us grows higher and higher and we grow lower and lower,”
– Rev. Dale Young, pastor of First Presbyterian Church in Laredo

Anyone know the exact reference? Can we get a hermeneutic ruling on this one?

And one from Fox News for good measure:

“There’s no scientific proof that global warming even exists. To be honest, it’s a bogus consensus dreamed up by Greens because they hate industry. They hate advancement. They hate technology…Greens will lead us back to the stone ages.” (more on this)
– Fox News analyst Jonathan Hoenig

Dada Mail, the open-source list-management software we use at New World (and are looking at for MMA) is not a software app. That’s right. Computer software is the medium, Dada Mail is an art project.

“Readymade” concept art along the lines of Duchamp’s Fountain (signed urinal) - only not readymade. Built from scratch by an artist with little to no programming experience - this art piece is a medium of it’s own - providing (unlike a painting, say) eveything but the content.

Originally titled Mojo Mail, the name was changed to avoid a trademark infringment law suit from MOJO Mail - a silly idea since artwork is “titled” not “named” in the trademark sense. Any title may be used and reused by any artist. I wonder how long that will last. Will the trademark craze grow to the point where artists are fighting legal battles over titles, or will the new open-source e-wave win out? o, what fun.

i was just reading a play over at Charles Mee dot Org when i suddenly finished reading it and followed a link of his to somewhere and then to Illegal Art dot Org.

Charles Mee is one of my inspirations in thinking that just maybe Copywrite/right/rite is overdone and has a tendancy to hurt artists more than it might help them sometimes. PROGRAM NOTE: Charles Mee’s work is made possible by the support of Richard B. Fisher and Jeanne Donovan Fisher. And I think that’s great. And I think, being an artist, I would like to be paid. I would like for my work to be made possible. In the meantime I’m going to do it anyway. Impossible Art.

But you really should - and I would like you to - very carefully - turn off your pop-up blocking software and follow THIS LINK.