MeyerBros

this is an expiriment in reviewing a book in the style of the book itself. don’t trust it. in fact, i wouldn’t bother reading it. it goes bad by the end of the first paragraph, and paragraph three is entirely innapropriate. some of the comments might be interesting though. you could just skip to them.

this isn’t right.

this is right. it’s the only way to do this, get it all over with at once. it’ll be great. self referential and everything, just like A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, except more so because it’s a review written in the style of the book. maybe even from the perspective of the author. no. yes. or as me writing as the author or the other way around. a self aware review mixed with vacation memoire about a memoir book. it’ll be the best thing i’ve ever written. it is the best thing i’ve ever written. you’re going to love it. you do love it. you hate it. i can tell you hate it. you’re never going to talk to me again. i’ll become depressed and and start drinking too much - random sex without condoms - AIDS - and then you’ll feel sorry. why don’t you like me anymore?

i really wasn’t that impressed with several things. AHWOSG, for one, and the eiffel tour for two. also versailles and AHWOSG again. the book just wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. i wasn’t sure it went anywhere. the eiffel tour and versailles certainly did not go anywhere. they were big.

i should probably also mention that i haven’t had much sex in a while (with or without condoms) and even masturbation has been lacking. and while i know i will be judged by all of you for saying that, it doesn’t really matter because i could be lying. i am lying. maybe i’m lying. if i am i apologise, but still think you deserve it.

the point is, the book didn’t do much for me. neither did the french revolution. french cheese on the other hand… and oh the fondue… etc.

orgasmic, you might say.

is this pornography? how will we know? can we define the destinction between art and porn? can dave eggers define it? bobby meyer-lee? who’s definition would we go by?

how about mental illness? who defines that? who has it? what should we do about it?

racism?

this is an apology for this post. i’m very sorry. i’m not sorry. blame dave.

according to The Essential Ennagram by David Daniels and Virginia price I’m fairly clearly a seven. yes folks. two years ago i was a three and before that a six - or so i’ve said. fickle thing that enneagram (it certainly isn’t me). mom, on the other hand, thinks maybe a nine is appropriate, and why not throw some more numbers out there for good measure. but get this:

“I am an optimistic person who enjoys coming up with new and interesting things to do. I have a very active mind that quickly moves back and forth between different ideas. I like to get a global picture of how all these ideas fit together, and I get excited when I can connect concepts that initially don’t appear to be related. I like to work on things that interest me, and have a lot of energy to devote to them. I have a hard time sticking with unrewarding or repetitive tasks. I like to be in on the beginning of a project, durring the planning phase, when there are many interesting options to consider. When I have exhausted my interest in something, it is difficult for me to stay with it, because I want to move on to the next thing that has captured my interest. If something gets me down, I prefer to shift my attention to more pleasant ideas. I believe people are entitled to an enjoyable life.”

Now, that certainly sounds like someone I know. and you should see what else it says about me. it says i avoid pain at all costs and disarm with humor. who would have thought it? i get stressed by overload from all the things i want to be part of and angry at negative people. sometimes i may even write posts on apathyism or avoidance in favor of wine and cheese (or so it says, but who would believe a book…).

(can we get a spell-checker on this thing?)

i’m moving home. it’s the thing to do. it come to me like a flash, like a vision burnt across the sky (thanks Arlo) last night: i need a break from myself.

solution: move home.

i’m hoping to spend my evenings sitting in a quiet house chatting with my infinitely wise mother while knitting a sweater and reading Tony Morrison. i’ve never read Tony Morisson (i can’t even spell her name the same way twice in a row) but it seems like the thing to do.

i decided to move around 11:45pm last night. i talked to mom over supper at 7:00pm tonight. told eric i’m moving out after watching Aeon Flux (which i highly don’t reccomend) at 11:30pm, and I hope to be sleeping at home by midnight tomorrow.

i assume it’s a mistake, but then what isn’t? i wont know any better by sitting around wishing i was somewhere else. i know it’s most likely short term - just till i decide wheather i belong in goshen, oregon or argentina. maybe there are other options, but i don’t care. i’m moving home.